


The Best Laid Plans

by LaDonnaErrante



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: AU Timeline, Drabble Set, F/M, sometimes Percy is a misogynistic prig, trust me though you'll love him by the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-31
Updated: 2013-01-31
Packaged: 2017-11-27 16:46:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/664220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaDonnaErrante/pseuds/LaDonnaErrante
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She’s the complete opposite of everything he thought he wanted in a Ministry wife.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Best Laid Plans

**Author's Note:**

> Written for InterHouse Fest 2012. The drabble set is slightly AU, given the timeline I’ve constructed. JKR’s easy “everyone who lives gets to make lots of babies right away” ending is never something I’ve felt entirely comfortable with, so that got chucked. Sorry Jo. However, I have kept with JKR’s assertion that wizarding lifespan is quite extraordinary.

Percy waits for tough questions and cold stares that never come. Only, “Are you eating enough, dear? You look like you’ve lost two stone since you stopped coming ‘round for Sunday dinner.” This earns him a sympathetic look from George. He resigns himself to becoming a Sunday evening regular at the Burrow. He finds he quite enjoys it. Now that he’s pushing paper for a cause, talking shop with Father fills him with a renewed sense of pride. And it is too funny to watch Molly crow over his siblings’ romances. _Oh god, how long before she realizes I’m single?_

*****

Percy’s life has more or less returned to normal. It doesn’t feel that way. Not yet. But in appearance and deed, not much has changed. Percy, master of the façade, runs around after Kingsley and throws himself into the piles of paperwork the postwar clean up requires. He helps family members track down missing loved ones. He isn’t sure why anyone trusts him to do this, but doesn’t ask too many questions. For now a reason to get up in the morning is all he needs. All he has, really, besides his family. The loneliness he can sort out later.

*****

At sixteen, Percy’s ideal woman is Penelope. They’ll buy a flat in London and he’ll work his way up in the Ministry while she climbs the ranks at Gringotts. They’ll be the power couple of the Wizarding World.

At twenty, she’s a loyal woman. She’s a staunch supporter of the Minister and understands what it means to be Junior Assistant. Her credential will serve to counter his barmy family’s reputation.

At twenty-five she’s a war hero--a long time Order or DA member. Together they will reshape the Ministry into an institution that all Magical Creatures can be proud of.

*****

By thirty-three, Percy isn’t sure there is a woman for him anymore. He avoids Sunday dinners at the Burrow. When Molly asks, he tells her that work is busy. Really, it’s because she’s stopped nagging him. If his own mother thinks he’s a lost cause, then there really isn’t much hope. The table crowded with laughing children and pregnant daughters-in-law doesn’t help.

What Percy wants is the warmth of another body in bed. A woman who will leave the Ministry to him while she raises children. He’ll never have to come home to an empty flat and a takeaway again.

*****

Percy hates Ministry functions: so many young witches and wizards flattering senior employees. They remind him of Percy Weasley, age eighteen. But duty calls, and the Harpies beat Puddlemere in the season opener, so he makes his rounds. A young witch approaches him.

“Mr. Weasley?” He turns to acknowledge her. She smiles, green eyes sparkling.

“Audrey Shiller, assistant coach for the Harpies. Oliver Wood says you’re the bloke to know around here.”

They shake. Something in her smile and blunt manner catches him off guard.

“Happy to assist in any way I can,” he replies and finds he is sincere.

*****

Percy frowns at the knock on his office door. No appointment, most likely someone coming in to complain.

It’s the Harpies Assistant Coach. It’s odd, he’s only met her once.

She really is quite lovely, he thinks, searching his brain for her name… “Good afternoon, Ms. Shiller.”

“Audrey, if you don’t mind, Perce,” she presumes and perches on his desk, her practice kit showing strong calf muscles.

He blushes and clears his threat. “Yes. Fine. What can I do for you?”

“Have dinner with me. Silvia’s, Diagon Alley. 7:30.” She jumps off the desk, winks and walks out the door.

*****

Percy never thought he would fall for a Hufflepuff. His whole family is Gryffindor. He had always admired the ambition of his Slytherin peers, felt a kinship with the precise minds of Ravenclaws. But Hufflepuff? He can’t recall having made a single Badger friend his whole time at Hogwarts. He found they lacked gravitas, prioritizing socialization over school.

It was an unfair judgment. He knows that now; yet still never pictured himself with someone so straightforward. Audrey is blunt and unassuming but she is also hard-working, bright, and one doesn’t get into her position without a healthy dose of ambition.

*****

Percy has never thought himself capable of a whirlwind romance. And yet here he is, in dress robes, stomach in his throat. Everything is blurry. “League Cup hasn’t even been decided,” mutters George, elbowing him gently. He smiles faintly. George is standing up for him; thank Merlin.

Then he sees her: that ridiculous, warm smile she wears only for him and her eyes shining like emeralds. She is moving towards him with such openness and purpose, as if their whole lives have lead to this moment. “I love you,” she mouths. Suddenly his worry melts. Smiling, he takes her hand.

*****

Once, during offseason, she repaints his flat. He returns from work one day to a seafoam sitting room, a bright yellow kitchen and brilliant blue in the bedroom. It is their first truly terrible row; she calls him an uptight tosser with no style. He calls her an uncultured hipster. The makeup sex is fantastic. By morning, Percy loves the colors.

Sunlight streams into the kitchen, warms the bare skin of her shoulder where her dressing gown has slipped. Audrey stands at the stove trying not to burn breakfast. Percy circles his arms around her waist and kisses her neck.

*****

Merlin help him, Percy loves her all. The point in her chin. The dark brown of her nipples. The odd shape of her hairline at the back of her neck. The soft curve of her belly -- coaching pudge, she says. How her short fingers feel in his hair.

He is a meticulous lover, committed to the precise discovery of a woman’s body. By the third time with previous lovers, he would know each like the back of his own hand. But five years in, there’s still something about Audrey which remains untouchable, unknowable. He is determined to figure her out.

*****

The first time Audrey has morning sickness, Percy is overjoyed. Audrey isn’t quite as sure.

She cramps suddenly on the pitch, two weeks later, and discovers blood in her panties. The flood of tears surprises her. She goes straight to Percy’s office. He holds her tightly, stroking her hair, whispering something over, and over. She doesn’t hear the words, only his voice.

They are heartbroken. Percy’s reliance on routine, his determination to face every day, pulls them both through. _Damn Gryffindor,_ she thinks each morning that he cajoles her out of bed.

They don’t try again for a long time.

*****

“I’m the head of this family, Audrey.” Percy says tensely, his voice low.

“Bollocks,” she replies, looking incredulous. She takes a deep breath and speaks slowly. “We are a team.”

“Yes, and teams work together to accomplish tasks of importance. Your job on this team is to raise our daughter.”

“Why should that mean giving up the job I love?”

Percy looks startled. “One of us has to.”

“Well, you stay home with her, then!” Audrey bellows, waking the baby.

“Yes, because stay-at-home dads are regularly promoted to Minister of Magic," he mutters. Secretly, he thinks she may be right.

*****

Percy hears Molly howling from the kitchen, sets the soup to simmer, and moves quickly to investigate.

“Can’t leave you two alone for a minute,” he mutters, striding into the sitting room and separates the toddlers.

“Molly, what happened?”

“She started it.”

Lucy bawls, “I want train.”

“Molly, having you been sharing your toys?” He lets the shame sink in briefly. “If you two can’t play nicely together while I cook, I shall have to give you a time out. Your mum will be hearing about this when she gets home from work.”

“Sorry, Daddy,” the girls mumble in unison.

*****

“Owl from Hogwarts,” Audrey says as Percy steps out of the floo.

“Oh?” He kisses her and starts supper.

“Progress report, Minerva says both girls are excelling,” Audrey remarks, setting out plates. Percy smiles with pride.

“Anything else?” He tries to look unworried.

“They’re coping fine, Perce. Here, I’ll read you a bit. ‘In response to Mr. Weasely’s frequent owls about the effect his return to work might have on Molly and Lucy’s schoolwork, he needn’t worry. The staff have seen no noticeable difference in their comportment. I daresay we are all lucky to have him back at the Ministry.”

*****

Percy is in his favorite easy chair, daydreaming about retirement, when an elegant ministry owl taps at the window. It is a letter from the Wizengamot asking him to announce his candidacy for Minister of Magic. Audrey kisses the top of his head, reading over his shoulder.

“Congratulations, Minister!”

He kisses her cheek and sighs. Percy is eighty-five and, quite frankly, surprised he’s been considered at all.

“We’ll see. There’s still the election. And I might not say yes.”

“Really? It’s what you’ve always wanted.”

“You’re what I’ve always wanted." He pulls her into his lap and snogs her thoroughly.


End file.
